The Chanukah Song
This song sucks
Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah
So much fun-ukah to celebrate Chanukah
Chanukah is the Festival of Lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
Here's a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me
David Lee Roth lights the menorah
So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah
Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli?
Bowzer from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzarelli
Paul Newman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too
Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew!
You don't need Deck the Halls or Jingle Bell Rock
'Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock (both
Put on your yarmulke, it's time for Chanukah
The owner of the Seattle Supersonic-ahs celebrates Chanukah
O.J. Simpson... not a Jew!
But guess who is? Hall of Famer Rod Carew (he converted)
We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish, not too shabby!
Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is
Well he's not but guess who is? All Three Stooges
So many Jews are in show biz
Tom Cruise isn't but I heard his agent is
Tell your friend Veronica it's time to celebrate Chanukah
I hope I get a harmonica on this lovely lovely Chanukah
So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah and smoke your marijuana-kah
If you really really wanna-kah
Have a happy happy happy happy Chanukah!
His first Chanukah Song, c. 1996.
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Added June 12th, 2003